#13 Death

Ever since I started my journey, I had been doing lots of research based on the things that I was feeling and seeing. Those things took months of accepting and coming together into what I can call been a spiritual person. The question right now should be spiritual how? Ever since I discovered the path of meditation, I learned a full ton about chakras, tarot cards and the spiritual world. My first deck of cards came with a book that had a very detailed explanation on how to use the cards and how people see them. Later on I learned that the cards technically work with intuition. What does the card tell you? At first it’s a total blank, but after so much research and memorizing I get a good idea how everything works.

Photo by Akil Mazumder from Pexels

To quickly explain, tarot cards are divided by numbers, characters and symbols. Very similar to regular cards only that has lots of more details that you pick up as you practice. Swords are a suit of intellect, wands are a suit of creativity, pentagons are a suit of abundance and cups are a suit of emotion. Every day I pick a card from the deck to see what would be “the card of the day”.  Sometimes, as the day goes by I can identify what was the card talking about earlier that morning. I could say that it has preventing issues from happening since I can be aware of things before they happen. For some people this might sound boring but after going thru the process that I’ve been at I just need a lead on what to do next.

This morning I pulled the card number thirteen, the death card. It does not matter if I know its meaning this card gives me the creeps. People who are used to it would say but that card does not mean death, I know! But seeing this card, a dead knight on his horse. It appears galloping around people that apparently are dead or laying around. In tarot readings this card means: Transformation, ending, closure, regeneration. “It’s like a caterpillar in a cocoon, on the verge of becoming a butterfly” if you ever find yourself in a reading and this card pops prepare yourself! Not in a bad way, although in a dramatic way. We all have problems, but we all look forward solving them. The new question would be how do we solve them? Sometimes, the time to solve a problem takes more time than what we expect. The death card is here to motivate the energy around to either make it better or make it worst. We don’t know how things will work so we need to look for either other ways or a new strategy.

Photo by Ian Panelo from Pexels

Death means rebirth into a new situation, not so bad if you ask me. It also tells you that its time to stop what you’re doing and begin the new projects you have in mind. Death is the end of a cycle and the beginning of a new one. For the good or bad change is always good for experience.

Right now, I find myself looking for a job which is so frustrating while I still suffer from anxiety. Last job I had, I was fired cause the company didn’t want for me to have another panic attack at the training room. They thought I was not going to make a good fit at the work pressure and demands. Probably they were right, but I can’t tell the bills the same thing! Like “can you give me a few more months? I have anxiety and I can’t find a job.” They probably just take my things and leave me in the dark.  I am hoping that I can get to find a job soon. I keep up my searches but no luck.

I am just imagining; would this death card would symbolize a new change in my life? Would it mean that I am close into reaching my goal? Am I just overreacting cause of a card?  Well that’s where I would like to get with this script. Sometimes, we make a lot of mistakes relying or adding our attention to things that could or maybe help us, but we forget that we are the only ones with the full capacity to change our lives and the course of our success. Energy wise, I am more than glad that I learned that. There are no bad patches in life, they are just learning phases. We all need to learned something. If you ask me what I learned in the two years of anxiety? The answer is in my heart.

I had learned to be more humble and more tolerant and a bit more comprehensive than before. I used to get angry so much and blew up like a nuke bomb with a large radius! Now I’m more laid back, softer I would say. A great reason had got to my heart and to my life and is to teach everyone the same thing. Love yourself, love the world. Through respect we can solve all what is happening in our lives among other people. We need to love others all the time. If you ask me, I would become the card number thirteen for anyone. A smile, a good deed, something good that you make another person smile. I learned that while I was in my anxiety. I was hurt on how much I pushed myself away from the society. Trying to get back, all I get is pushed away by others. But I need to be strong, and that is the meaning of this card today. I need to be strong because change is on its way, I need to be firm because I will change someone’s day with a simple smile. I am glad that you had got this far reading. I am glad that maybe you are interested. This means that maybe the next time you go outside you might change someone else with a smile.

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